It may not be December 31st, but another season is wrapping up, and I’m in the mood to CELEBRATE!
In my Zoom group, we celebrate frequently, with the perfectly-named-for-musicians exercise called “Toot Your Horn”. Why “exercise”, you might ask?
Well, for many women, our socialisation has frowned upon anything self-congratulatory. Making noise, taking up space, showing some ego… these are unwritten no-no’s, a message received loud and clear in so many ways by the time one reaches about age 13. (Alas, the younger members of the group assure me that this remains true…)
So, as a feminist act, I’m gonna charge ahead here and shout out some great stuff that I pulled off this season—and I recommend everyone else does the same: put it on YOUR blog, write it down, tape the list to your bathroom mirror.
In Portuguese, Assumir — to own up to something, take responsibility, confirm — sums up this attitude of “owning” your power, and I think it is the perfect antidote to all this “gee-shucks” socialisation. Although it can take some getting used to!
So without further ado:
• I recorded a full album of music I love, including some music I love written by me.
• I overcame F.O.R. (Fear of Rejection) and asked several composers whose music I love for permission to record their pieces, and a musician I revere to record with me — and got positive responses! (Knock, and the door shall be opened).
• I performed a fantastic array of music in concerts, every last one of which with musicians I admire both professionally and personally.
• I “put my stuff out there” with a creative project on Instagram; got over my fear of … whatever I was afraid of… had a blast, and got wonderful feedback from both friends, musicians, and “normal people”.
• I overcame a serious hangup around “tech” issues (Finale software, I’m looking at YOU!)
• I thoroughly enjoyed teaching my fabulous students, both private and the flute class at ESART. They outdid themselves—what am I going to do next year??
• I managed to “have a life” — let my dog walk me in the park, threw some dinner parties, made fantastic new friends, kept up with many “old” friends, traveled a bit, read a book or two, and supported my fab fab fab daughter through the thicket that is the last year of college!
On the other side of the ledger, I also DROPPED SOME BALLS, and don’t hate myself for it.
Maybe some of those balls will get picked back up…but if not, IT’S OK. We all have too many things on our to-do lists. We can either freak out, or just accept that that is part of having a full and busy life.
If you’re like me, once you finish something, you pretty much go on to the next item, without celebrating or—sometimes—even remembering what you’ve done. It’s great to move forward (and I’ve got my next “ducks” in a row), but it’s also healthy to see and note down just how far you’ve come.
Whether you’re a musician or a student and this feels like “year end” or not, I suggest you put a timer on for 5 minutes, and list everything you’ve accomplished in the last year. You will likely amaze yourself!
Go ahead, you can do it, join me: toot your own horn!
