Or maybe not…You see, I’m in the throes of preparing a concert that is a BIG DEAL—at least, it feels that way to me. To everyone else, who knows, it may be a “nothing-burger”…and I’ve been contemplating mightily the weirdness of that.
Along with other “big-deal” elements (a duo recital! a fab acoustic! with the incredible FC!), I’ll be formally premiering two recent compositions of mine, brazenly placing them alongside favorite works by “real” composers, and presenting them to a “real” [read: paying] audience.
In my mind, this is a huge step forward into the light for my “little project” of composing. At the same time, I realize that for the audience, the presenters, and my friends and fellow musicians, this might be a real nothing-burger… What are two more pieces for flute in a sea of flute music stretching back centuries, and—as I write—in the process, surely, of being devoured, digested, and spat back up into flute-pablum by the AI machines?
Naturally, I’m doing my absolute best to thwart banality: one piece is for contrabass flute with singing intertwined, the other is for the Indian bansuri flute. Take THAT, AI! Take THAT, same-old-same-old!
And I’ve done my best to create music with meaning—at least to me, but hopefully to others as well, even if, as is one of the charms of instrumental music, that meaning is fairly abstract. This is perhaps by design: the composer tells their “story” and the listener hears their “story” of the composition. The two are superimposed into a unique meaning, in a bit of magic.
In any case, and by way of a little PR, “Prayer (Dona nobis pacem)” was composed in a few days in Spring of 2022, just after the war in Ukraine began. It seemed unfathomable to see World War II-type images nightly on the TV. And yet, here we are, two years on, with the Middle East at war as well, and few signs of hope. Thus “Dona nobis pacem”—give us peace—because we humans seem incapable of giving it to ourselves, to each other. I’d like to think my music expresses both heartbreak and hope.
The other piece, “Bansourire” comes from a completely different place: it is a joyous romp, wherein a good-natured battle between the rhythmic, foot-tapping urge and the desire for lyricism is played out. Dancing vs. Singing, if you will. The title is a fusion of the words “bansuri” (the Indian bamboo flute) and “sourire” — french for “smile”. It’s a take on several flute traditions, expressed with the means of the bansuri and its slip-sliding glissandi, via an American who simply can’t get 4/4 out of her system!
If I succeed, will it be a BIG DEAL, and if not, a nothing-burger?
This can only be answered if we agree on what success is. Which is not as simple as we generally pretend it is.
In the online drawing classes I take on Friday evenings, we’ve been exploring the drawings and paintings of Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890). Was van Gogh a success? If we know his troubled history, we know that he was NOT a success. He sold a single painting in his lifetime, he cut his ear off, he was admitted to an asylum, etc. His brother Theo was his only supporter.
In modern terms then, we can say that poor Vincent was a nothing-burger: a “nobody” with a mere, single “follower”, a single person “liking” his art, a marketing disaster.
And yet, as of 2022, his painting “Orchard of Cypresses” sold at auction for over $117 million dollars—and it’s not even one of his most famous works, such as “Starry Night”, “Sunflowers”, and the self-portraits.
The guy has gone viral! Here’s a little graphic, a quaternity, to demonstrate:
(By the way, spending millions on art is what the fantastically rich do with it all…interesting, no?)
Why did van Gogh’s work finally go viral?
I believe it is because of the meaning embedded in it. Every brushstroke, choice of color, and subject is imbued with his unique essence, his humanity. This far outlasts our “mortal coil”, having the power to communicate across time and distance, through the ages. And—eventually—other people also found meaning in his art. As in music, we overlay our own experiences and meanings on those of the artist, arriving at a “personal van Gogh”.
By the way, I am in no way comparing myself or my compositions to van Gogh! I’m just saying that he appears to have once been a “nothing-burger” whereas he is now a VERY VERY BIG DEAL.
This can give us all some comfort. For who has not feared that what is to them a BIG DEAL is considered a nothing-burger by everyone else? No one!
Rather than basting ourselves in this fear, let’s follow some wise words of van Gogh:
“I am seeking. I am striving. I am in it with all my heart.”
That’s all I’m trying to do with my compositions. Everything else will work itself out, sooner or later.
FYI: the Concert is Thursday, October 10th at 7:15pm in Tomar. Duo (flut)uações - myself and Francisco Cipriano, percussion, play works by Moody, Delgado, myself, Marta Domingues, and Gareth Farr on an array of flutes and percussion instruments!